Do you remember when you made the decision to marry him/her? Did you have cold feet as you consented before the priest and two witnesses to love him/her until death? Last evening the Adult Faith Formation sponsored Fr. Mark Gantlet, judicial vicar and director of canonical affairs for the Diocese of Honolulu as our speaker. Sounds scary, right? Not so. Fr. Mark is 'down to earth'. He passed out take-home outlines, spoke with great knowledge, answered all our questions and knows well the problems of marriage as a Canon Lawyer.

Having attended the Theology of the Body with Christopher West the week before, Fr. Mark filled in the technical gaps for me…and for many attending. Marriage is a sacrament God given for the eternal good of the spouses, as well as, for the gift of new life. It is the ultimate sign of God's love for His people. Christ is the Bridegroom, we are His bride. It is a sacrament of mutual giving to the other, as He gave & gives to us, and we struggle to give to Him. God is faithful, unconditionally loving, passionately in love with us and desiring of our final union with Him for all eternity. I could not help but think of scripture being His love letter to each of us.

Our earthly partnership is also one of unity and exclusivity. It is indissoluble and perpetual. Entering marriage should never be a quick decision. Mother Church knows that discernment takes time and prayer. Therefore, she asks us to spend time in preparation for this holy covenant. Marriage is for life! Dating and engagement should be times of "Getting to Know You" not "We Got Married in a Fever"! Sexual union consummates the marriage vows and children are the fruit of that love. Not the other way around…with commitment coming after sex and little ones, is there really commitment? Since our Faith is more important than anything else, it is always best to marry a Catholic, but not a given.

Fr. Mark then spoke at length about the need for separation in cases of repeated infidelity and/or danger/abuse to the spouse or children. A civil divorce can be granted for protection of legal rights, but it has no effect on the validity of the original marriage vows and one cannot marry again unless the original marriage is declared invalid. Nullification of marriage can come only when it is proven that there was something lacking in the marriage to begin with, for example: a defect in decision making, refusal to have children, psychological incapacity, etc.

Without a doubt, Fr. Mark's presentation was one of our most informative and perhaps needed by every married or about to be married couple in our parish! If you were not able to make it last night, fear not! We will be inviting him once more.

Tags: Reflection